


Behind Those Eyes

by lunaschild2016



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-30 15:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13954827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaschild2016/pseuds/lunaschild2016
Summary: Before it ever began the war was stopped. Erudite, seeing that the system was failing, chose a different path to save their world. A different approach to taking over the government was made and because of that Avery King was born into Abnegation. By the time it comes to her choosing the world is different but the choice still must be made. For her it is simple and she joins her one friend as he makes a surprising choice of his own. Being brave is sometimes easier said than done and even with a low amount of fears, it doesn't always mean you are fearless. Behind the eyes you never know what is really going on. Something she always seems to be stuck wondering. Especially about the boy with eyes the same color of blue he once wore before he darned the black.





	1. Prologue: How It All Began

**Prologue - How it all began**

Behind closed doors. If walls could talk. To be a fly on the wall.

All of those sayings that all mean the person is just a busybody that can’t keep their noses out of someone else’s business. Those sayings weren’t openly used in my faction but I always wondered, what did go on behind closed doors?

Were the other families like my own when in the privacy of their own homes? Did their parents seem to come alive or almost become different people at the end of the day? If so, was it like that for every faction? Were the people they seemed to be out in the open, change once they got in private?

I can remember asking my mom and dad this once when I was younger. It had amused my dad and he had said something about me being so much like my mom. I didn’t understand what he meant then but after they explained things and then the years passed I began to understand.

Let me explain.

The world I live in is broken into factions. Five factions of people that are dedicated to a certain way of life, a set of ideals and behaviors. When children age into adulthood at eighteen, we are given the choice of what faction we will then go live in. It isn’t all based on choice and there is a lot more wrapped into that big decision but that is how our society breaks down. How we have lived and worked together for going on two hundred years now.

Before then the world was full of people and cities. The city I live in, Seattle, was once one of many major cities that covered the continent; the United States. Across vast oceans were other countries that had more cities and peoples spread across it.

Sometimes I sneak into the basement of the library at school and stare at this big map they have of the world painted onto the walls there. It is so old that most of the names of places, countries and cities are faded to the point of nonexistence. Just the scope of the map itself makes my mind spin. I can’t even imagine how that must have been. To be able to leave from one city and encounter others without having to travel for days and days. To not have to go through almost impassable land just to reach any other signs of life.

You see over two hundred years ago it all started to unravel and now humanity is relegated to smaller populations dotted across the country. We are told that there are other cities, or there were when my own was formed. We don’t know if they still exist or not because there hasn’t been communication from the outside in forever.

You might be wondering what happened? What could cause such a widespread and diverse civilization to fail? That is where the factions come in and how my society decided to organize its government; with the five different beliefs on what caused the downfall of our world.

It wasn’t just war that took out more than half the people in the world. It wasn’t just disease either. It wasn’t just the lack of looking out for or caring about others. It wasn’t just the dishonesty of the ordinary people and more importantly those that held positions of power. It wasn’t just the loss of focus on knowledge to better man and not just oneself. It wasn’t just the attitude that kindness was weakness.

It was all of it that began to chip away at everything society was made up of until it started to collapse. The founders of my city recognized this but not everyone agreed on what to focus on to try and prevent it from happening again. So the factions were formed.

Those that believed that the downfall of society was because of cowardice and forgetting that justice needed to be upheld; they became the faction of Dauntless. Whose job is to be both military and police for our city.

Those that believed that the downfall of society was because of selfishness and losing the ability to put others before oneself; they became the faction of Abnegation. Whose job can cover anything from running the government to making sure that those that find no place in a faction are clothed and fed.

Those that believed that the downfall of society was because of the total lack of honesty from the top people down to the lowest; they became the faction of Candor. Whose job it is to act as lawyers, counselors and law makers.

Those that believed that the downfall of society was because knowledge of all kinds wasn’t being used properly and for the benefit of humankind; they became the faction of Erudite. Whose job it is to serve as teachers, doctors, nurses, pharmaceutical and industrial.

Those that believed that the downfall of society was because of the loss of kindness and the thought that love of peace is weakness; they became the faction of Amity. Whose jobs are the farming, livestock and artists of all kinds.

Five very different ideals that bleed into every part of the factions life. From the type and color of clothes they wear, how they behave in public and to each other, what they can or cannot do in school or work, and every little aspect of life. For two hundred years, the system and how it was set up worked. Though each faction had their own roles they tended to overlap and interconnect with others to be able to keep the city running and the people happy.

Almost twenty years ago, changes were made when it was discovered all was not as it seemed, or as perfect as we were being led to believe. It took time for the changes to be put through and take hold but because of this the world I am about to enter into as an adult isn’t the one my parents did on their choosing day.

It is better, they said, safer. Because of the changes I know that when I choose my faction tomorrow I will not have to say goodbye to my parents for good. I will be in another faction but where once contact was forbidden before, now I can email or call….even visit twice a month.

This all came about because of a pact that was made by a group of elders that knew things needed to change for the good of all, but to do that...they would need to sacrifice their children. Children like my mom and dad; who were given the task of leaving everyone and everything they knew behind and go to another faction. To become leaders among leaders and make the needed changes. It was dangerous and their parents had no idea if they would succeed or not. It was a risk they and their children had been willing to take to prevent the city from collapsing in on itself like the world before it had so long ago.

So that families could close their doors at night and have the freedom to be who they are on the inside without fear of reprisal or being hunted, accused of treason. Of being divergent.

My name is Avery King from Abnegation and I am divergent but tomorrow on my choosing day, I will be Dauntless.


	2. The Last Supper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last supper in Abnegation and Avery gets the first hint her friend Tobias might not be staying in Abnegation either. Knowing where you belong doesn't make it easier to leave.

**Chapter 2 - The Last Supper**

 

My dad and I are working side by side in the kitchen to prepare dinner. He is humming some kind of tune and the hum is off key but I don’t mind. Mom, who will make some kind of sarcastic remark now and then, doesn’t really mind when he does this either.

Because this will be the last time I am with him like this it is bitter sweet. It has always been our job for the cooking. Dad told me the story once of how mom tried to cook and insisted she keep trying when they were just married. Being a former Erudite she had been so sure it wouldn’t be hard at all and refused to admit that there was something she couldn’t accomplish by just setting her mind to it. After three months of eating toast, because in the end that was all she could salvage, she had given in to my dad.

He became the cook of the family and when I was old enough, I joined him in the kitchen to help and learn. Meals were never fancy or even more than just the basics. That was one faction rule that we could not break. I found I liked cooking though and even more so when someone else was in the kitchen with me.

This dinner would be a special one, not only because it was my last one as a dependent; but because two other families would be joining us as well. Friends of my parents and their children.

Evelyn Eaton and her son Tobias were coming over. Evelyn worked with my parents in the government and had taken the place of her husband after he died. I wouldn’t really call Tobias a friend, more of an acquaintance. He has always been a bit of a loner and introverted. He is in my class at school so we were often put on projects or had lunch together. He didn’t talk much and my mind was always wandering; so we were together more out of comfort than anything. I didn’t pester him to talk and he didn’t tell me to get my head out of the clouds.

Andrew and Natalie Prior along with their two children; Caleb and Beatrice would be eating with us as well. Andrew worked in the government with both my parents and Evelyn, while Natalie did work with the volunteer and the children’s centers. When I did my required faction duties, it was always with Natalie.

My favorite had been working with the children’s center where orphaned faction children as well as children of the factionless that were turned over to the city; were taken care of until homes could be found for them. It was part school, counseling center, daycare, and where those that needed it would live. When I worked, I was always assigned two areas. Teaching the preschool kids and helping with physical activities. I seemed to be the only one that could keep up with their level of energy.

Caleb and Beatrice are both younger than me. Caleb is just over a year younger while Beatrice is almost two years younger than me. I get along with both of them well but they don’t seem to get along with each other. It isn’t hard to see why when you get them alone.

Caleb is what you call ‘ _left-brained_ ’. It is a clinical term I found in my studies and mainly Erudite use those kinds of words, but even mom agreed with me when I used him as an example during her quiz she sprung on me.

To be left-brained means that a person is very analytical and methodical. They are the over thinkers, very logical and are thought to be cold or critical in their judgments. From just that small description, it would fit Caleb perfectly but I know there is more to him than that, it just takes a bit to get it out of him.

Beatrice was a harder case observation, the subject of my study and comparison, for me. She has tendencies of a left brain but those are interspersed with bouts of exuberance and creativity. She, like me, seems to have energy that just needs to be released or she becomes cranky and irritable. When she got old enough she would often come to the childcare center and help with the playtime activities there.

You might be wondering why a child of Abnegation would even want to know any of those terms or do any of those kinds of studies. The answer to that would be because I am not just a child of Abnegation.

I am the daughter of my former Erudite mother and former Candor father. Their old factions joined the traits of the new and were passed on to me. Before that my mom’s parents were both Erudite born and stayed in there, while my dad’s parents were both transfers into Candor; his father was from Amity and his mother was from Dauntless. Their traits and behaviors were passed on to their children and then from them to me.

I am a child of all the factions. I am divergent.

The biggest change that was made somewhere around when I turned five years old, was the testing that had once been done for faction aptitude was all but rendered useless.

Before a person would go under some kind of test that would spit out one result. Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Dauntless or Erudite. A person could never be more than one and if they had a multiple aptitude result, they were what was called divergent. Which was a very dangerous thing….then.

Now it is still a whispered term but one that isn’t as feared as it once was. By changing the way a person was tested for faction aptitude, it got rid of the divergent label. My testing took two months and I had several meetings with appointed faction members from all five factions. In the end it was determined that the place I would most fit in would be Dauntless.

Something we had known was a possibility for a few years now. I can’t tell if my parents are happy about it but I know my uncle wasn’t exactly pleased. He had always expected me to join him in Erudite but once I indicated that was my choice he has been inundating me with books on things he said will help me. I have been studying all things Dauntless for the last year and feel like my mind is going to explode with all the stuff filling it.

“Avery, would you ask your mom to bring up the box from the root cellar please?” My dad asks in the middle of checking the baked chicken dish in the oven.

My forehead wrinkles in a frown but I nod then answer. “Yes, sir.”

He throws a look over his shoulder at me and shakes his head. “I forget you are doing that, Dauntless mode, thing now.”

I shrug with a smile as I go to find my mom. I know I will find her in the room that has been made into a study for the whole family. More often than not that is her space. I find her behind the desk where she is absorbed with something on the laptop she has as a leader and councilwoman. I lean against the doorframe and take a minute to absorb her and this room. One of my other favorite places our home has.

We spend a lot of time here. My dad put a set of bookshelves near the one window in the room and built it up so that I could sit up on top of the shelves on some cushions he got from somewhere. It was my reading nook and it was high enough up that I referred to it as my eyrie. Up there I would curl up with whatever book or work I had and watch as my parents either did their own work or would read. This was our shared luxury and the part of us we didn’t or couldn’t share with the faction in general.

My mother has her blonde hair pulled back as usual but some of the strands around her face had come loose. Her hair was naturally wavy but because in our faction all women wore their hair pulled back in buns, you wouldn’t know it until at night when she would let it down just before bed. I inherited that from her but I got my fathers deep brown color.

At times when she was so focused on a task, I could just imagine her in Erudite. She would have stayed there I think if she hadn’t been asked to transfer to Abnegation all those years ago. When her blue eyes move over something I can see them taking it in and processing it like the computer she is sitting in front of right now. She told me once she was tested for her IQ like I was at the same age I had been tested. She had smiled with pride when my result came in but she refused to tell me her number. Her brother, Michael, had told me that I was higher than her but she was once the highest in the faction.

If she had stayed, she would have been moved into leadership there. That is the way leadership in Erudite works. If I had gone to Erudite...I probably would have been put into leadership. A shiver works up my spine at that thought. I don’t know if I want to be in leadership of any faction I go to.

“Was there something you needed, dear?” I am once again drawn from my reflections by my mom’s voice. I look at her to see those blue eyes of hers dancing in amusement at me.

Head in the clouds….that is what I am infamous for among my friends and family.

I smile sheepishly back at her and shrug. “Dad said he wanted you to bring some box from the root cellar.”

She gives a start and looks at the time on the simple watch on her arm. “Oh dear, must have gotten caught up in work. The others will be here soon. Why don’t you go down and start setting the table.”

She is already bustling around the desk and towards me, shooing me out of the door and to the dining room. We break off from each other each to our task, leaving me curious as to what is in the box in the room that usually holds our canned and jarred food.

I start to set the table and before I know it there are knocks at the door as the others start to arrive. Each of the families bring a dish or two for us to eat. They are still simple foods but I can tell the difference in how the others eat by what they bring.

Evelyn and Tobias brought a dish of brussel sprouts but halved and prepared with slivered almonds and cranberries. The seasoning is light and just a bit of salt, pepper and some kind of olive oil. I don’t even know how they got that.

Natalie and Andrew handed over a basket of rolls that smell wonderful and yeasty. Beatrice blushes as she hands over a covered dish that turns out to be fluffy and steaming cauliflower mash. That is Abnegation’s version of mashed potatoes. Healthier and not a bit decadent by faction standards. I have had the Prior version of them before and they seem pretty good to me.

The rest of the meal was our privilege to provide. Tobias and Evelyn were first to arrive so he helped me to finish setting the table and making sure there were enough chairs for everyone. They had to bring over a few from their house to make room for everyone.

Dinner is a quiet affair. Not uncomfortable but everyone just taking the time to enjoy the food and the small talk exchanged between the adults. My parents have never shied away from discussing government business in front of me and it seems that the other parents are the same. Caleb is paying rapt attention while Beatrice seems to be trying to sneak looks at Tobias without being obvious. It isn’t obvious and I only notice because this is what I do. I people watch. I am an observer of life as my uncle would say. Tobias is oblivious but then again he usually is, or at least I think he is. His head is down and he is focusing on the food as if he might never see a meal like this again.

Then something hits me. We both might never see a meal like this again. A wave of sadness floods me and my fork clatters to the plate. Luckily I was already finished so when everyone glanced my way I was able to make my excuses.

“I am finished and was going to offer to clear the table.” I am grateful my voice is steady as I say this.

The adults all smile while my dad nods and winks at me. “Go ahead Avery, but just you keep away from the box on the counter.”

Well that is just begging me to take a look.

Beatrice looks up, biting her lower lip a little. “I am done as well, may I help Avery clear the table?”

“That would be wonderful, sweetheart.” Natalie answers with a smile showing a dimple in one of her cheeks.

We both rise and begin collecting plates. Tobias looking awkward when Beatrice accidently brushes his hand after grabbing his plate. They both blush and I fight back a giggle as I move to the kitchen quickly.

The box sits on the counter, seeming ten times its size just from the sheer temptation of it. Had he never said anything I probably wouldn’t have been so tempted.

“He said that just to tempt you, didn’t he?” Beatrice asks from beside me after she had scraped the little bit of food on the plates into the bag we have set aside for any scraps.

They all get put into a communal pile that is then turned into a homemade fertilizer we make in Abnegation. When there is enough of it we use some of it for the herb and vegetable gardens in our sector. The rest we take to Amity to be added to the ones they use for the farming the entire city relies on.

I am scowling at the box as I nod. “He did.”

I can hear her small laugh from beside me. “Do you really think you can make the box disappear by your scowl alone, Avery?”

“No. But maybe if I concentrate hard enough I can activate enough brain capacity to suddenly develop the ability to see through the box.” I shot her a cheeky grin and see her cover her mouth as she shakes her head trying not to laugh.

“Now I know where the children got the idea of x-ray vision from.” Natalie says from behind us with a smile on her lips. My mother is standing beside her and has her own small smile going on.

“The idea didn’t come from me but one of the stories they were read.” I defended myself, still looking hard at the box.

“Yes but who read that story to them?” My mother joined in the debate.

I sigh and my shoulders slump in defeat. I guess I will never find out what is in that brown box. “I did.”

“Exactly. Thank you both for clearing the table. Now go join the others in the living room.” My mom said as she once more today was scooting me out of the room.

As Beatrice and I are leaving I hear my mom thanking Natalie for being able to get ‘it’ for the dinner tonight. Whatever it is they are both excited about it.

Dad and Andrew are in a discussion with Caleb about something they had been talking about at dinner. In our faction, after dinner is supposed to be time for the dependents to talk and discuss whatever they would like. My family never adhered strictly to that though there were times when it just happened naturally. Usually that was when there was something serious going on in the city or in their jobs.

This was one of those times it was more just a natural thing to follow. Tobias as usual was farther away from the group. I didn’t have to but I went to join him in one of the single chairs beside him. He relaxed when he realized it was me and sunk back into his seat. We sat in the quiet and listened to the others speaking. Until he turned slightly, raised an eyebrow at me and spoke lowly.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

I look at him for a minute before I look at my dad, smiling and talking animatedly with both Caleb and Andrew.

“Nervous? No, I am not nervous.” I reply softly but can’t mask the sad undertone to my words. I look back over to him and ask the same question of him.

He is silent as well but he looks down as he shakes his head. “No. I’m not nervous.” His words aren’t filled with sadness but there is an uneasiness in them.

Before I can question that or him my mom and Natalie come back into the room. They are carrying small plates filled with something that looks a lot like the famous Dauntless cake I have heard bragged about by the kids at school.

“What is this?” Caleb asks in wonder as he is handed his own plate.

“Cake. A friend of mine thought it would be nice for us when he found out Tobias and Avery would be choosing tomorrow.” Natalie replies as they both pass out the remainder of the plates before taking seats with their own.

“This is Dauntless cake, right?” I ask as I pick up my fork.

I see the nod but that is all before I dig in and my eyes widen a little in pleasure. The cake certainly is amazing. Now I can understand why those kids won’t shut up about not having any at the school lunches.

It is something to look forward to. Is that why my mom was excited about Natalie getting some for tonight? Was this her way of showing me one last time that she understood and she supported me?

I must look like a mirror image of Tobias beside me as I keep my head down and concentrate on the slice of chocolate cake on my plate. Every bite I savor slowly, making the entire process of eating that single slice last about a century. I know the others are done around us well before my fork scrapes along the plate for the last time. No one seems to be in any way offended by this but I can tell by the sad looks my father casts to me with his blue green eyes that he understood.

When I look around the room I can also tell that Evelyn has looked at her son with a tinge of sadness. Will he be leaving the faction tomorrow as well? He has never given the indication he might want or need to but there is so much about him that is a mystery to me.

Too late for me to try and solve that tonight. Once dessert is done, we all know it is time to go our ways for the night. Before she leaves Beatrice puts her hand on my arm and looks at me for a few seconds longer. She looks like she might want to say something but before she can, her mother is putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing.

“Jeanine, thank you all for having us over to your home on this night.” Natalie turns to me with a smile and nods before she ushers Beatrice out the door, followed closely by Caleb who gives me a lopsided smile. Then Andrew is shaking my father's hand and confirming that he and Natalie would be at the ceremony.

Tobias had already left to take the chairs he had brought from his house back home. Evelyn left soon after as well. It was just my parents and I, the sadness coming back.

Words weren’t needed as dad pulled me close to him for a hug before I was transferred to my mom’s arms. She pulled back and framed my face with her hands. “Go take a hot shower and I will bring you your pill for the night.”

I wrinkled my nose but nodded. “I won’t have those in Dauntless.” I remark softly.

My dad looks at her and something passes in his eyes before she sighs and nods. “They will be available for you in the clinic there should you chose to have them, which I urge you to do. It will be your choice though. You will be of age.”

I nod and she releases me. I climb the steps up to my room and enter the bathroom that is attached to it. It is simple with a stand up shower instead of the bathtub and shower combination that is in my parents room; but I like having my own bathroom. I try not to be too greedy on how much hot water I use but it can help me on my restless nights. If I can get away with not taking the medication I am supposed to be taking, I do.

Tonight it seems that my parents aren’t willing to let me struggle but would rather make sure I get proper rest. For as long as I can remember I haven’t been able to fall asleep on my own. If I don’t have some kind of medicinal help then I might never get proper sleep. The first time it became known to my parents I wasn’t sleeping through the night was when I collapsed from sheer exhaustion at the age of three.

I was taken to see a specialist in Erudite under the supervision of my Uncle Michael. That was when it was discovered that the areas of my brain that should trigger rest weren’t working properly. That was also when my parents recognized I was divergent. There had been panic, worry and unease at this.

Two years later any and all mention of divergents seemed to drift into nothingness.

My mom comes in with a glass of water and the pill in a small cup. She puts both on the table beside my bed and with her brow furrowed deeply, she begins to pull the covers over me and tucking them in around me. “It feels like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital.” She whispers with a tremulous voice. “I had never considered that I might ever be mother material. I was so scared of how I was going to manage raising a child. ”

I smile and take the pill she holds out for me then swallow the water while she pushes the hair falling in front of my face back behind my ear.

“Now I don’t know how I am going to manage to let you go.” The hand comes to my cheek and strokes it softly. “I want you to know that I am proud of you, Avery. More than that, I want you to know I love you. Your father and I both love you and that will not change no matter what faction you are in.”

“I know. I love you both so much.” Her lips press to my forehead and I close my eyes with tears burning behind the lids I have squeezed shut.

“Get some rest, dear. Tomorrow your father plans on surprising you with breakfast. Maybe I will make you some of my famous toast.” She smirks as she rises from the bed and goes to turn the light out.

I softly call out goodnight as she is closing my room door and let out a shaky sigh as the tears start to fall. They continue on until the sleeping pill has taken effect and pulls me under to sleep.


	3. Surprised At The Choosing Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last morning and meal with her family but sadness isn't what she feels. Avery is surprised by the choice of Tobias. Will transferring to the same faction bring them closer together?

**Chapter 3 - Surprised at the Choosing Ceremony**

The next morning finds me waking to the smell of breakfast being cooked and I can tell it is one of the special occasion breakfasts that my father will make. Since our faction doesn’t believe in celebrations that will detract from the act of being giving or selfless, my parents have always found other ways to acknowledge big days or events.

Mainly that would be a special meal being made or some type of reasonable dessert. Like last month was my eighteenth birthday. While Abnegation do not celebrate or give any more notice to the day, my parents always have by the breakfast that I am made.

Mom is in charge of the toast which she serves buttered and with a small container of preserves made from berries. Those are both luxuries and normally come from Uncle Michael as his gift to me on that day. If a new book or two finds its way to the family study, no one says anything about that either.

Dad makes the scrambled eggs but he also adds to the meal with a meat substitute most Amity have instead of bacon. Abnegation use meat substitutes as well but most don’t use the breakfast kind. This was a discovery of my dad’s that he found I loved as a young girl. The strips of ‘meat’ resemble that of bacon and I am told have a somewhat similar taste in that they are slightly salty. Either way it has always been a favorite of mine.

Even though I went to sleep crying I have decided that I can’t allow myself to be sad. At least for the sake of my parents who are trying so hard to not show how much I am sure this is hurting them to watch their only child leaving them. It is times like this I wish that mom hadn’t had to have that surgery to stop her from having anymore children. That, maybe like Natalie, she had been able to have another child after me. I also had to be honest about the fact that I loved having all of my parents attention and love. I don’t know if I would have liked to share that.

As I am getting dressed I ponder if that is what Caleb feels like. Why I can tell sometimes the comments he makes to or about his sister seem to be coming from a place of resentment.

There are no mirrors in my room or bathroom. Faction dictates again. I haven’t ever really cared about looks really, just that I am presentable. I have a thing about being tidy and put together. Because of this, I have always turned to my mom to help me with last looks. To make sure that the pants I have chosen to wear are creased in the right place, making the grey material look the part of the faction nickname we are given, stiff. My shirt is a darker grey than the thin cotton cardigan that goes to just at the top of my thighs. The sleeves are long and almost cover my fingers, while the neckline is squared so that as little of the undershirt I wear is showing. Not that the cotton t shirt would show anything but it is tucked into the dark grey pants. The look is completed by serviceable and very worn dark grey boots. No matter that they are worn, I have taken care to keep them clean, with new laces and do a light polish on them.

The only part of my look that I most always get help with is my hair. The random and wild curls my mother passed on to me take some serious taming. She helps to put my hair up into a bun so tight it almost pulls the skin from around my eyes back slightly.

After she has wordlessly helped me with that part, she knows the next thing I will want from her is to look me over and give me the signal everything is as I would like it. She has never said but I can tell that she secretly takes pride that I care so much about my appearance. Her mouth is pursed and her brow puckered as she takes me in from head to toe. She makes me turn once for her before she smiles and nods.

“Perfect. Now let’s go join your father.”

The sun isn’t even rising outside the windows of our home as we take our seats at the table for breakfast. We are always early risers but with the ceremony today and the fact that Abnegation is hosting it, it is necessary to be up even earlier.

Which is what found us setting out into the dark and cool morning after enjoying the last breakfast I would have as a dependent. Other families were already heading out as well. Most of them were the ones that would help with the setup for the ceremony. Making sure the chairs were all in place, that the space was clean and well lit. That the accoutrements for what amounted to a ritual where all readied. The Prior’s and Eaton’s were among the others that trudged along with us to the place where we would be stepping onto the bus which takes us to the city center.

The ride itself is a long and uncomfortable one. There aren’t enough seats for everyone so the young and able bodied are left to stand and hang on for dear life. Because the roads aren’t all that great the further you get from the city. Abnegation, being the selfless people they are, always make sure the roads around the other sectors are repaired and maintained before anything is done to ours. So there is a lot of jostling, jarring and dangerous sounding scrapes for a good bit of the journey. That is with the bus being driven slowly and carefully over those parts.

Once, we hit a hole so bad my grip on the pole I am holding onto is ripped away and am thrown back. Before I can get far, an arm circles me and yanks me back towards the pole while still holding me in place. I am still gasping for air when I look at the only person standing close enough to me to have reached me that quickly.

Tobias. His jaw is clenched but he doesn’t remove the arm from my waist until he sees I have hold of the pole again. I mumble my thanks to which he nods and slides his arm away again. I should be shocked at the touch considering how little my faction does of it outside of the home but that isn’t what had me at a loss for words.

It was the strength of his grasp on me and what I could feel underneath that baggy grey clothing he wore. It was the posture that seemed to change overnight and the blue of his eyes that seemed that much darker. He wasn’t a completely different person but there was a different side to Tobias that seemed to be etching into his face, bearing and behind those eyes with every mile we got closer to the city center.

It made me wonder what was going on behind those normally broody eyes of his.

Soon we pulled up in front of the hub and began exiting from the bus. I found my parents again and made our way in together. Amity were already there as well so the elevator became full of those and others from different factions that arrived early. Instead of taking spots in the elevator we were expected to climb the stairs until we reached the fourteenth floor where the ceremony would take place.

I didn’t mind the climb. I like and have always liked physical activity. It is why I loved being with the children at the center. I could run and chase after them to my heart's content but never received a reprimand because I was only doing my duty. The children there weren’t expected to refrain from those types of behavior so the person minding them couldn’t be expected to either. The part that I didn’t like about climbing the stairs with this large group was that it was so slow. We are required to match the pace of our slowest so that no one is pressured to going faster than they are able to. It makes for a tedious climb.

When we make it to the level we need finally, Andrew Prior is holding the door open for everyone to pass through. He smiles at everyone and it gets a little wider as we enter. He gives me an encouraging nod.

I have been well briefed on what I am to do now. I am supposed to go to the section for the dependents where we will sit in order of which we will be called. It is the second time in my life I will not be separated by what faction I am in. The first was when we were all waiting to be called for each session with the faction counselors. They went by name then too. I take my seat beside an Erudite girl on one side of me and another girl from Amity on the other. The girl from Amity smiles at me and chatters on in an airy but deep voice. It isn’t anything really relevant but I smile pleasantly back at her and answer her questions politely.

I think she senses my tuning out because she turns to the person on the other side of her and they strike up a conversation. I watch as the people in charge of the ceremony bustle about getting things ready.

The room is huge, it has to be to fit all that need to attend today. The ceremony itself will take a few hours just to be able to get through all the dependents that will be choosing. For those families that didn’t have someone choosing or a role to play in the ceremony, there will be broadcasts of it.

Mom said most everyone in Erudite will watch. It will be playing in the gathering centers throughout the tower and all the restaurants will have it playing as well. Abnegation generally doesn’t have things broadcast but when we do, it is on a wall of the sector center and towards the back of the houses where the garden is set up. It is done so that it will not distract others from their work if they need to keep at it.

I am not sure about the other factions. If they are anything like Erudite, which has common rooms, delis, restaurants, and other social gathering spots; I am sure there will be at least one of them that will have the ceremony playing. Anyone who has a personal vid screen that is hooked up to the network would be able to view it in their own home.

The ceremony begins with a chiming that comes from the speaker system in the room. Since Abnegation is hosting it is Andrew Prior that takes the stage and begins to give the opening speech. He talks about the history of our city, the factions and the choosing ceremony itself. He goes into the changes that have taken place over the last fifteen years and how the attitudes regarding dependents leaving their birth faction have changed.

It was once considered an act of betrayal among a few of the factions, even Abnegation. In fact, it was so taboo that there had been so very few people from Abnegation that ever left. That has changed and now there have been at least one or two dependents that leave every year. We still have the lowest transfer rate of all the factions though.

When he finishes the opening speech it begins. Names are called and one by one each dependent rises, makes their way to the stage, takes the ceremonial knife Andrew offers then makes a small cut in their hand. An offering of blood is made into the bowl of the faction of our choice.

Stones for Abnegation, soil for Amity, glass for Candor, burning coals for Dauntless, and water for Erudite.

The pace seems to be moving far faster than I expected. Faces blurring as one replaces the next. Each person is greeted by their new faction, whether they transferred or not, to some kind of applause and cheering. Dauntless and Amity are always the loudest of them but Dauntless practically has the walls shaking every time.

I tried to keep count of how many each faction had being added but my mind couldn’t keep up with that along with what else was running through it. For some reason I was playing a list of pros and cons in this very late stage of the game. What I would gain or lose by staying with my parents. I do the same thing for going to Erudite instead of Dauntless.

I am in the middle of a second run through when the name of Tobias Eaton is called. I pause while I watch him stride purposefully up to the stage. I don’t think I have ever seen him moving so confidently before. He still looks like he did this morning but even harder than before. A second before he lets his blood drop into the bowl of his choice it hits me what he looks like.

“Dauntless” I whisper before the sizzle of blood echos through the speakers and Andrew booms out his confirmation.

Loud stomping, shouts, whistling and cheers greet him as he moves quickly into the sea of black and is swallowed up. I am still trying to process this and wondering if there were signs I had missed while my mind was somewhere in the clouds over the years.

When my name is called I walk almost numbly to the stage. I realize a few things when I am taking the knife from Andrew, who gives me a small smile of reassurance.

One, all my listing pros and cons was just a last minute attempt to talk myself out of leaving my parents and the only home I have ever known. It was the fear and loss of comfort that had me searching for any reason not to go. In the end it failed and I always knew there was no other choice for me to be happy.

Two, seeing Tobias transfer gave me something that I didn’t think I needed or wanted. It gave me a bit of home in a place I knew would be nothing like where I had come from.

Both of these realizations strengthened my determination again. With my shoulders squared and my chin raised proudly, I made the cut to my hand and let my blood drop into the coals.

The sound of my new faction welcoming me was infectious and I didn’t hold back the smile or the skip in my step as I joined them, my new family and faction. Dauntless


	4. Culture Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery finds that there are some things you can't prepare for with books. Tobias has a big decision to make from the start.

**Chapter 4: Culture Shock**

 

Being made to run and climb to board a train that we were then forced to jump on and off of was expected and welcome. I kept up nicely though I wasn’t near the front. I also was nowhere near the back either and that made me feel good. Looks like me having the kids run laps, so I could run laps as well, paid off.

Making our jump off from the train onto the roof of a seven-story building had been concerning but understandable. I am Dauntless now. There also hadn’t been time to really evaluate or be scared from the time it was yelled out to jump and when I was lined up to make my jump. Tobias and I had gone together. He had surprised me by taking my hand but I ended up more pulling him than anything. He let go when we were midair and gave me a tight nod once we were on the roof. I might have been hurt or offended if he had ever been any other way. He wasn’t so it was almost like a warm hug to me at that point.

We were greeted by a small group of older Dauntless members. The primary person was a leader of Dauntless by the name of Max. I know him, not well but I have met and talked with him several times over the years. A few times he had been at visiting day dinners that Andrew and Natalie had held in their home. I gathered from those times that my parents and the Prior’s all knew Max and were friends, of a sort. I also had my suspicions that he had been part of the group charged with changing our city.

Max gave a short speech. Very short. He challenged us to jump...again. This time we were expected to jump off the roof and to fall through a deep dark hole that leads to our new home. What was waiting at the bottom for us wasn’t something he was willing to divulge.

I missed being the first jumper. Not because I was too scared to make the jump but because once again my mind was so filled with thoughts and observations of those around me that I didn’t realize people had lined up to jump until I felt someone shove me slightly from behind.

“Move it, stiff.” Was grunted by an ox of a young man wearing the black and white of Candor.

I saw Tobias tense from beside me but I had decided on another method of dealing with that. I smiled brightly at the guy and chirped my reply.

“Sure thing, mouth.” Then I stepped in front of him taking a place in line. I believe they called it cutting in line back in school.

I heard snorts and laughs around me but other people decided to follow suit and before I knew it a Dauntless-born girl was behind me in line. The Candor kept getting pushed further back. By the time I made it to the front I was the eighth jumper. Once again I was somewhere in the middle of the group.

The deep dark hole did lead to my new home only it was a total shock to find that almost all of Dauntless was little more than a cave. The walls had chisel marks on them from where some long ago person had made hallways and corridors out of them. The center of life in the faction, Dauntless’ own Hub, was a wide cavern with different levels. On those levels were open-air stores, places to eat, bars and other activities. Amar, the man that met us at the bottom of our jump and pulled us from the net we landed in, said there were many more all over the compound. Apparently, some of them were more modern and closer to the surface but for us lowly initiates they were generally out of reach or off limits.

Of course, this made me just itch with the need to go explore them right away.

The Chasm had me enthralled from the moment we were taken to the bridge. Amar was going on about the dangers of the raging waters and how people had chosen to use that place to test their bravery. He also alluded to people taking their own lives there by jumping. All of that, of course, held my interest but it was what wasn’t mentioned that I saw hints of in the way the wiring and mechanics near or leading down into the canyon the Chasm ran through; that is what had my interest piqued.

I fell behind when the group started to migrate off and was jerked back to reality when someone tugged at my elbow. I looked up to find blue eyes piercing into mine and a cocky smirk on the lips of the intruder.

“Thinking of calling it quits already?”

I scowled and shook my head but before I could reply and tell him exactly what I was doing, I heard my name being called behind me.

“Let’s go, Avery.” Tobias was there, tugging me away from the boy with the blue eyes that were just a bit lighter than the blue polo shirt he had on.

“See ya.” I quipped as I allowed Tobias to pull me along and meld back into the middle of the group.

I was pretty sure the Erudite guy was close behind us but I didn’t look back to see.

“What were you gawking at back there?” Tobias asked in a low tone to me.

“You didn’t see it? The wiring and mechanicals that were threaded through the walls and leading down into the water?” I asked a little bit louder than his own question but the excitement was bubbling inside of me.

“No. I was kind of preoccupied with the dark and ominous warning, play around here at your own peril.” He shrugged in reply as he was looking straight ahead while we walked.

I tsked my displeasure and shook my head. “So macabre but I guess that is to be expected. I am not sure but I would love to find out if my theory is right about what all of those things meant.”

I saw his lips tilt a little. “What is this theory that I am sure I will hear you going on about until you solve the little mystery?”

“Hydropower! I think that the Chasm is a source of power for the Dauntless compound. It would certainly put out enough kinetic energy with the force of the churning waters. So it could in theory power the entirety of the compound. I guess that would depend on…”

I continue to ramble on as we make our way to what seems to be the housing we are going to be staying in. I get strange looks as we go along that I only register because Tobias gives them a glare that has them turning away quickly. He never stops me. He never has. He lets me be me and I have always appreciated that. He is rather protective of if I do that around other people but that was when we were in Abnegation. I guess he thinks it is ok here.

“So I guess to find out if the hydropower would be enough as an only source would be to get a better idea of the kind of electrical needs the compound has,” I conclude my wandering thoughts with a determined nod.

“So, in other words, I can expect lots of you going off on your own during free time.” There is a definite smile on his lips now as he looks at me.

“Well, I mean unless you decide to be less broody and join me in my explorations.” I smile widely back at him.

He mumbles something that sounds like ‘we’ll see’, before we are both pulled from our conversation by Amar. He is stopped in front of a big set of double wooden doors that look like they have seen some major time passing. His arms are crossed over his chest and he is waiting in silence until he has all of our attention. Once he does, he makes his announcement.

“Through these doors, you will find the place you will call home for the next six weeks. When you get in there, you will pick a bunk, get changed into the clothes provided inside and then meet me back out here. You will bring your old factions clothes and we will take them to be burned. After that, we will head to the mess hall where three square meals are served daily. Once you have eaten you will be taken into your first taste of training.”

Amar smirks at us with a wicked glint in his eyes and shoves the doors behind him open. Everyone starts to slowly file in. There are stairs that lead into a big wide open room. Everything seems to be wide open in Dauntless. Even the bathroom’s apparently.

I make a sort of squeaked noise of mortification as my eyes move over the place I will have to sleep and bathe, for as long as initiation lasts. I shove aside that thought and plan. I want to be as away from others as I can be. I seek out a way to do this and find it immediately.

I am not alone in this thought because I realize two others are gaining on me as I race over to the far corner of the room that has three beds between two walls in what looks like might have been a closet of some kind at one point. It is pushed back and in a sort of nook. I aim to get one of the beds with a wall but by the time I reach them, I see the blue boy from the Chasm has gotten the one on the right and Tobias has gotten the one of the left.

With a huff, I stomp over to the middle one. At least I will be near Tobias and that is some comfort. The shocks don’t stop at the sleeping arrangements when I realize I have to get changed in front of everyone. After I rifled through a table strewn with clothes and gotten some that are pretty good matches for me, I take them back to the little dark corner I will now call my home and sit staring at everyone just tossing their clothes off around me.

“No one’s going to look over here.” Is growled from beside me.

I turn to see that even though he was speaking to me, the former boy in blue isn’t looking at me. He is looking at the floor as he sits on his bed and laces up his boots. Gone is the blue of his old faction as the black has replaced it.

I glance around and see that he is right, no one is looking over in this direction. Everyone is occupied with themselves or checking out the girls that seem to have no problems displaying what they have. I take that distraction and hurriedly change.

If I had worn one of the skirts I had I could have just pulled the tight black pants on under that. As it is I have to remove those, the shirt and sweater before I can yank on and shimmy into my new factions clothing.

Most everyone is already done by the time I get everything on. My new bunkmate has already stalked his way out while Tobias is sitting on his bed patiently waiting for me while looking at his hands. He also seems to be deep in thought so I look around and sit beside him.

“What’s up?” I ask him quietly.

He shrugs and sighs. “I didn’t give them a name. They said I could change it and I want to, I just don’t know what.”

I frown hard at this. “Why do you want to change your name?”

He looks up at me and I can feel his eyes boring into me even in the darkened part of our room. “I want to be my own person here. Make my own name and not one that was given to me or that I am expected to carry on.”

His answer perplexes me but I can understand a little of it. Our parents are leaders and respected. It was and always has been so much to live up to. I can understand not wanting the pressure of that expectation in our new home.

“Do you have to decide right this minute?”

He shakes his head and then stands up. “No. I have until tomorrow morning to decide.”

I nod and stand beside him. “I can help if you want but you are going to have to live with it. So it should be something good.”

He nods as we grab our old clothes and walk towards the doors. “Pretty much what Amar said.”

The others are all trailing after Amar already and we join the line that is forming. There is a big bin stationed at the start of the hallway leading to our dorms. As we pass the clothes from our old lives are tossed in. No one sticks around to watch them burn. Either out of disinterest or because of the two Dauntless standing near and watching everyone closely.

By the time Tobias and I catch up to the others after we have tossed in our own, they are all at the mouth of another big hole in a wall. This one leading to what can only be the mess hall. Everyone is stopped and looking around in wonder. Not because it is some amazing sight to behold but because of what the people who are already inside are doing.

We are being welcomed and hailed in Dauntless style. Which means there is a deafening roar of voices joined by the thunder of pounding feet and fists.

I smile widely and look over to Tobias to see one creeping on his face as well. I can tell this is going to be hard. That I am in for more shocks and shakeups along the way. That all the things I tried to prepare on or for won’t even scratch the surface of how big a change this is going to be for me. There is trepidation in me at this. I can feel a bit of fear lurking under the surface but right now it is all being driven out by the feeling of freedom. Of belonging and being wanted.

The feeling of being home.


	5. Hitting the Ground Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life in Dauntless jump starts from the beginning as Avery and Tobias are faced with their fears. Both are already making a name for themselves but Avery is far from wanting any attention. She might not want or expect it, but she attracts it from someone she wouldn't have expected.

Chapter 5 - Hitting The Ground Running

Dauntless don’t believe in putting off for tomorrow for what you can do today. What that means for training is that it is a whirlwind from the start.

After dinner, we are taken along more dark corridors and hallways until we are led up a series of precarious and dangerous looking stairs, across a glass-floored room and into a room that looks like someone threw up paint on the brick walls. 

The paint-splattered room, that a Dauntless-born girl named Shauna says is graffiti, is only one in a series of three that are connected. We are taken to a glassed-off room and made to wait there while one by one we are called back into a smaller room with a bunch of electronics. 

Amar does some kind of scan on the person and then leads them into the graffiti room where they are injected with something and then hooked up to headgear of some kind. No one tells us what they are doing and when the person comes back they look white and shaken up. 

Tobias is motioned forward by Amar instead of called by his name. I give his hand, which I had found myself holding, a squeeze and let go as he moves off. Whatever is done to him in the scanning room and then the headgear room takes far less time than anyone else so far. Even my bunkmate, who I learned has the name, Eric. 

Eric had previously had the shortest time and had come out with a smug smirk on his lips. When Tobias came out and was suddenly being called Four by Amar, the smug smirk fell from those lips to be replaced by a glare.

I didn’t have time to ask what the Four was about because I was called next.

“Avery.” Amar’s voice rang out.

My palms were sweating as I moved forward and joined him in the room to be scanned.

“Do you know what this is?” He asked me softly and I looked at him for a second, debating what to say.

I did. I knew what all of this was about. It had been part of the preparation my Uncle Michael had put me through. I had been highly coached during my visits to him over the last few months. He had been urgent in his teachings. Because I am divergent he had wanted to make sure I was prepared for this stage especially. There was still a stigma and fear buried deep within the cities conscious. He wanted to take no chances with his only niece.

I gave a stiff nod because I knew I have always been a terrible liar.

He sighed and nodded back to me. “So I am going to scan you and find out how many fears you have. Once I have that registered I will send you into the other room where you will be given a brief look into each of those fears. This won’t be a full run through but rather to give you a taste of what you are going to be facing. It will feel real to you but you will know it isn’t.”

I nodded and gulped. He picked up his handheld scanner and I heard the computerized scan as the nodes on it were pressed to the back of my head. 

“Three.” He says in a hushed tone and I let a shaky sigh.

There was nothing I could do about the number. It had actually gone down twice from the time my uncle had started to run me through the fear sims. Apparently, you can face your fears enough to make them go away. 

There were three fears that I had never been able to get rid of. To even begin to know how to get rid of because they seemed to be ingrained in my personality and into my very being.

The first is the fear of sleep. That was the first thing that was discovered about myself. That switch that won’t flip allowing me to sleep. Apparently, it is because I won’t allow it, or some deep part of my mind won’t. I am afraid of what will happen when I sleep. What I will miss or what could occur that I would be powerless to stop or observe.

The second is the fear of fear. It seems crazy but I am afraid of being fearful or rather, being so afraid of something that I won’t be able to act when the time comes. Of being powerless.

The third fear is of forgetting or losing my memory. Out of all of my fears, it has always been the hardest for me to handle. 

I come out of the run through of my fears, shaking and clammy. Before when I worked with my uncle I had to actively try to get myself out of the fears but here they just threw me into each one, let me sit for a few seconds with the fear and then yanked me out. Being yanked out was almost as bad as the fears themselves.

I don’t boast or look happy about either my time or number of fears. In fact, I just want to be alone. Eyes are on me but I manage to slip to the back of the group when they get distracted by the next person to be called in. 

I know Tobias, or Four, is near but I guess he can tell I want and need my space. It feels good to know he is there if I need him and I am thankful once again that he doesn’t seem to press me like anyone else I know would.

At one point I can feel the prickle along my skin like I am being watched. I look up and find that Eric is glancing my way. He looks to me for a little while before looking to Tobias. When he sees I am watching him back he turns away completely. 

By the time everyone has had their turn I have calmed myself. I am not so shaken up but I am even more subdued than normal. Other people are going on about what their fears are, the number of them they had or various other things. I stick to the back of the group, watch and remain quiet.

Right after we get done we are led back to the dorm to sleep. I crawl into the covers after getting down to just the baggy shirt I have to wear for the night. I have let my hair down finally and lay on my side under the scratchy and thick blanket, twisting the hair in my hands. I won’t sleep tonight, not without my pill. 

I could go to the clinic and request it, I probably should. I don’t because too much has already differentiated me from the group. I am already being looked at because of my former faction, who my parents are, that I am a girl, but now my number of fears and times are being whispered about.

My mind is racing through the night after the others are long asleep. I try to stay still and not toss or turn. I don’t want to disturb anyone. 

I can’t help but wonder if it is any coincidence that the three initiates with the lowest fears and times are all grouped together in this dorm. In one of the darkest corners, there are. At dinner, we ended up all sitting near each other, much in the same fashion we are now. With me in the middle of them. There were other people near but there was this division between us...and them. 

A quiet air that seemed to put off the message we didn’t want to be bothered. People still talk to us. One Dauntless-born named Zeke, who had the most charming smile I had ever seen, didn’t seem to pick up on that unspoken message or he just didn’t care. 

I think he saw it as a personal challenge because every answer he got out of Four and Eric seemed to make the smile wider. Shauna also was trying to engage me. She offered to take me to pick up more supplies the minute we had free time.

Zeke explained how the purchasing system worked in Dauntless and what we could expect as transfers but also initiates. The clothes we had on were just the first of what Dauntless would provide. We could get other clothes from a few places. For training, the clothes would be issued from the commissary. A set number of clothing items were free but anything over that we would need to spend the allocated currency assigned to each of us called points. 

As initiates, we are all given the same amount to start out with. That has to last us through the entirety of our initiation and then after that, the points will be given out based on what jobs we have. Obviously the better the job, the better the points. Jobs are offered based on rank.

I knew all about the ranking system but the job offers change with every year based on the need of the faction. I knew my uncle and even my parents expected or wanted me to do my best. Possibly even get a leadership position. Looking around at the others in this class with me I am not so sure what my chances are of being ranked high. It won’t stop me from trying though.

I agreed to let Shauna take me shopping, something Zeke had groaned and said I was asking for trouble. He offered to help Tobias and Eric out. Neither of them agreed but they didn’t say no either. That was a mistake because Zeke took it for them having said yes. Either way, it wasn’t going to happen until the day’s training was over.

That first day was a long one for everyone but for me, it seemed even longer. I might not have the ability to sleep like a normal person but that didn’t mean that my body didn’t have the normal person’s need for it.

I guess I got lucky in that we didn’t go full out into the physical portion of training. The first part of the day was spaced between an orientation of sorts. Where the information I got at dinner the night before from Zeke and Shauna was repeated but then also added to. Basic rules were given with the consequences of not following them being listed.

One thing that had been stated was about attacks on other initiates and the level of punishments for those kinds of offenses. That didn’t make my issue with sleeping any better because by the end of Amar talking about it, I felt there was no other choice for me but to not take the medication. I couldn’t risk taking the pill and being completely unable to respond to a threat while I was in that state.

After being given a book with the faction laws and rules, taken on a tour of the compound and given a brief description of the types of jobs up for offer; we moved on to physical exams. That had been one thing changed across the board many years ago. The health and well being of all dependents of all factions was regularly checked. Yearly visits to medical professionals were required for all those under age. No longer could the dietary needs be dictated by the faction. Rules could still be followed, such as no sweets or such things, but all dependents were kept up to standards on vitamins, proteins, and medicines. 

There were regular checks for signs of abuse and it was a requirement that every dependent is given one last complete exam before they became members. Once we age into adulthood it will be our own responsibility to see to all of that. 

In the clinic, there weren’t really privacy screens or being kept separate. A group of three people would shuffle into the room and be seen to by the personnel there. It just happened that Tobias, Eric and I were all the last group to be seen. The only portion I was given privacy for was when the exam turned to the matters only girls have to deal with. The curtain was yanked back after the brief exam and I sat up embarrassed and clutching to the gown I was given to wear.

The person working with me was named Mirage and she was a beautiful lithe woman with skin the color of the chocolate cake I have now had twice in my life. Her eyes were startling but she had laughed a rich laugh and told me they were colored contacts. Apparently, she didn’t go for piercings like most of the Dauntless but she enjoyed playing with hair colors, makeup, outrageous clothing and things like her contacts. Right now they were almost silver but she said she liked wearing red ones just to mess with people.

“Okay, doll.” She said with a snap of gum in her mouth as she looked over my chart. “Everything looks good. We are going to need to give you a vitamin shot but after this one, you should get back on track. We will get you the birth control shot as well and that will set you up for six months.” She smirked as I started to turn red and patted my leg. “Not that you will be using it but it is required for initiates. After that, it will be up to you to keep on top of. I am sure you got the whole spiel in sex ed but...birth control isn’t one hundred percent effective. To be safe you want to combine that with condoms and that is just good to use them regardless. You can still get STDs unless you use condoms and trust me doll you never leave that crap up to the guy. They will never offer to suit up if they think they can get away with it. Fresh meat like you and they are going to be salivating at getting ahold of unspoiled goods.”

My face was getting redder by the second even though I knew she wasn’t trying to embarrass me on purpose. She was just being brutally honest. She was looking at me for understanding and I nodded as I remembered to breathe. “Always suit up. Got it.”

This brought a laugh from her and she patted my knee again. “You’ll do fine here, doll. Now it says here you have a daily dose of medication scheduled but you never came in for it last night.”

I saw Tobias’ head snap around to me and I sighed. “I would rather try to do without that if I could.”

The smile disappeared from Mirage’s face and she pulled my file again. I could see her reading over the notes and her frown get deeper. “I’m going to have to advise against that. It says here without it you have been known to…”

“Yes, I know. Does it also say that before that I was never sleeping in a room full of strangers all competing for a place in their new faction? I would rather not be rendered defenseless, thank you.” I snap out abruptly.

She stops and tilts her head as she watches me. I am taking deep breaths to try and regain my composure. I see her nodding and lift a perfectly painted on eyebrow. “Alright, I will make sure we still keep it up and running for you but I warn you, the first incident of you dropping from exhaustion will see it taken out of my hands and you being given it forcefully. If you still refuse it could see you classified as disabled, and I am sure you know what that would mean in this faction.”

I stiffen and close my eyes but give her a nod. She doesn’t say anything else but I can feel her disapproval at what she knows my decision will be. I am not left with much of a choice though. I can’t leave myself ripe for attack.

The entire rest of the visit I can feel both Tobias and Eric watching me. They don’t say anything and as soon as I am done I bolt for the training room again. Lunch is next and passes in a blur of chatter and Dauntless rowdiness. After lunch is when we really hit the ground running.

Weapons. Specifically firearms. We are shown how to handle the weapons properly, break down and set up. Then we are shown how to fire by Amar once. After he finishes we are put in front of targets and set loose.

It takes some getting used to between trying to deal with the recoil, the sound of the firearms itself, as well as the smell that seems to overwhelm me from the first. I try to address each one of those items one by one until I have a proper handle on them. Recoil is first and the most detrimental. For the first time, I fired I underestimated the kick back and almost fell on my ass. After that, I overcompensated and was too rigid. There was a balance that needed to be achieved to allow me to be flexible without giving too much or losing my posture which would change my aim. 

I realized that while I was concentrating on dealing with the recoil, I had been able to completely tune out the smell and sound as distractions. After that, it was all about doing what Amar called dialing in my shot. Basically, I had to judge what I could change from the shot previous to get it closer to the center.

By the end, my shoulder and abdomen were aching but I had gotten it closer to the center. 

“Alright everyone listen up!” Amar shouted for us as we finished breaking down and putting our weapons away into the cage to be locked away. “You are finished for the day. I suggest you grab dinner and then head to the commissary to gear up. We start training bright and early tomorrow and we won’t be cutting anyone slack. Report here in the training room at 0800 to get started.”

I gratefully made my way to the mess hall while rubbing and rotating my arm. Once I had grabbed food from the line and taken a seat beside Shauna, she immediately launched into what she wanted to do after dinner. It included not only going to get the training gear but also a few regular outfits and she even tossed out the idea of visiting the tattoo parlor or salon.

I could only groan at first as I began to eat. “I would rather just get the stuff I need right now and think on anything else. Tattoos are pretty important and I don’t want to just get something because everyone else will be.”

Shauna nodded in understanding but wasn’t deterred. “Okay. I can respect that. What about getting your hair done?”

I grumbled around a bite of food and shook my head. When I saw her pouting and Zeke chuckling I sighed and swallowed. “It’s not that I have anything against getting it done. I will. I just don’t see the point right now. Currently, I know how to keep my hair back and away from my face so it isn’t a distraction. I would rather not have to get used to something new while trying to handle everything else in training.”

She narrowed her eyes at me as if debating or bargaining even with herself. “Fine but after the first stage of training they give us a few days off. There are big parties and I expect you to go with me to get all dolled up for them.”

I nodded with a smile at this. “I can live with that.”

I made a friend in Shauna. It took some getting used to in how outgoing she was and I know that it took her some getting used to in how quiet or spaced out I could be. Zeke was struggling with Four and Eric in that regard and I think both of them decided sometime along the way during the weeks that followed, it was just how we were built.

That night after I had trudged into the dorm and started to put away all of my new clothes, Shauna did end up talking me into a few more casual outfits than I had at first planned, put away the toiletries and other various items we were given or bought; I started to prepare my next day clothes.

Eric beside me was doing something of the same while Four had already come back to the dorm, deposited his items and left again. Lights out would be soon and I was debating on getting into my new pajamas without a shower or braving the open bathroom and getting clean. 

My bed squeaked as a heavy body fell onto it and I looked up to see Eric there. He was glaring at me but also out at the room in general.

“You need to take that pill.” He finally said after I had asked if I could help him.

“I know I need to but I am not and can’t.” I sighed and turned away only for him to huff and call my name.

“Avery. Take the pill.” 

“No.”

Eric popped up and was towering over me. His eyes seemed to be ice as he took me in and he sneered. “You really think out of the three of us here in this corner that you would be the target of an attack? No. It will be me or Four. I don’t know about him but I damn sure am not going to allow that. So take the damn pill, stiff. If something tries to get at you, trust it will be taken care of.”

I don’t know why but his estimation, while true, stung a little bit. I am sure out of the three of us they would be more likely to be considered threats. It still didn’t make his words or the way he said it hurt any less. He was right though. Four and I may not be extremely close but I know he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. 

I give Eric a stiff nod and turned from him but he tapped my shoulder again. I whirled around with a scowl. “What.”

“Now.”

“Who made you my daddy?” I bit out and something flashed in his eyes before he shrugged with a smirk.

“Well, I guess someone has to play the role and since your boyfriend isn’t here at the moment to see to his little girl, I guess I have to.” The tone of his voice changed when he said this and it made my skin break out in small bumps but I also frowned while shaking my head.

I latched on to the only part of that sentence I understood. “Four isn’t my boyfriend. We just know each other from before. We are...friends.”

Eric’s eyes darkened and he let out a slow breath. “Going to pretend you didn’t say that. Much better to think you two are together.” 

Then he turned and started to walk away. I watched him before he stopped and looked back at me. “Well come on, gotta make sure you take your medicine like a good little girl.”

I growl at his insinuation that I can’t take care of myself and stomp after and past him. His chuckling floats up to me as I barge out of the doors.

He catches up to me, it really isn’t that hard since I am not exactly running away from him. He is taller than me by a few inches and seems to have legs that go on forever. Thick powerful legs that have much more power to them than I have in mine.

He walks beside me. Close beside me. I can feel the hairs on his arms brush against mine occasionally as we walk. I try to concentrate on something else, anything else besides what is going on with me and my body at this moment.

His voice, which is all I have to focus on, has this rasp to it that isn’t grating but like a brush of something dark and rich to my senses. There is a slight lilt to it, an accent that makes it unique and wonderful to listen to. Too bad he doesn’t always speak in full sentences.

“You are right about the hydropower. It is enough to power all of Dauntless but they use another source as well.” 

The subject matter of his words penetrates the haze of my thoughts and my eyes snap over to his. I don’t wonder how he knew I was talking about that, obviously, he was listening. I do wonder how he knows this wonderful tidbit of information.

“I figured as much as far as the hydropower. What would be the other source? It wouldn’t be wind, that would be impractical.”

He didn’t answer. He just shrugged and smirked with a quirked eyebrow. Daring me to keep going. 

“Solar. It would most likely be solar.”

He nodded slowly and looked around then pointed to one of the blue lights that lit the hallway we were traveling. Those could be found all over Dauntless. “Those are all solar powered led lights. The generators for them are what store up the energy but the wiring is still all the same. It was decided it would take too much to redo the wiring for the whole of Dauntless.”

I bit my lip in thought. “Would be rather difficult and dangerous.” I gestured around to the walls pointedly.

He nodded and we walked on in quiet. “You can get into all that if you want to you know. In Erudite...they were talking about making that a position here in Dauntless. Someone to go around and work on fixing the issues that might come up with the systems like that. I am sure it would go beyond that and include all kinds of different technology.”

“That wasn’t one of the jobs that Amar said was being offered.” I sighed because it really did sound like something I would just love to do.

Eric shrugged again and scratched the back of his head. “Maybe if you rank well enough you can request it. Or you can use your parents…”

“No.” I snapped and spun to face him. Stopping dead in my tracks. “No. I won’t use my parents for anything. I am my own person here and I will make it on my own or not at all. They didn’t raise me to try and get by on their achievements but to work hard and earn my own way. It won’t mean anything if it is just handed to me.”

He walks towards me slowly, eyeing me up and down and licking his lips. “Do you know how sexy you look when you are all fired up.”

“I’m….du...what?” I sputter out and my back hits the stone wall but I keep trying to go further back.

“You really shouldn’t have told me about you and number boy.” He mutters as he closes in on me. “I don’t mess with another guy’s girl.”

“I’m not…” I start out breathlessly and my eyes go wide when he closes in the last remaining inches. His lips so close to mine.

“Exactly.” He says in a hushed voice just before I feel bolts of lightning jump from his lips to mine. I gasp in surprise and disbelief which only allows him an opening of his tongue to invade mine. 

Except it doesn’t feel like an invasion. It feels like a sinful dance of pleasure between our two tongues. For how assertive and aggressive the entirety of this action is, the kiss is surprisingly soft and sensual. His hands go to pull me against his body and he groans while I join him in that with a small whimper. My hands are on his chest and I can feel the muscles so clearly defined in his short-sleeved black t-shirt. They are twitching and jumping beneath my hands. I want to draw nearer and delve deeper but before I can work up the courage or presence of mind he is already pulling back.

His breath fans across my face as he pants slightly. I can’t see his expression but I can feel his heart under the place I have my hand. It is beating as wildly as mine is at the moment.

“That was your first kiss.” He says almost like an accusation. 

I swallow with a frown and nod. It feels like the temperature drops and becomes cold enough to make the hairs on my arms stand on end. He pulls away and everything that was warm or inviting in his expression is gone. He nods and gives a slithering smile.

“After you.” He motions for us to resume our walk. Like none of that ever happened.

I can’t explain the turn of emotions in me. I went from this yearning and burning from within to feeling like ice had been pumped into my veins. Like I had taken some kind of hit, that wounded me but I didn’t know why or where. My pride maybe? My vanity? My heart? 

The third one was ridiculous so I turned away from him and walked with my back straight and didn’t look at him again. He could have left me in the clinic and I wished he would but he didn’t. Maybe he was taking some kind of perverse pleasure in unsettling me by remaining. Taunting me at how I had been affected by that kiss but for him, he found it forgettable at best.

I took the pill under the watchful eye of the nurse. Did they think I would come here to request it and not take it? Once they had confirmed I swallowed it they let me go. It is a rather fast acting medicine. It was designed that way on purpose. I am usually already in bed by the time I take it and I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.

I hadn’t talked the entire time I was making my way back to the dorms. Maybe he would have had warning before if I had. A slurring of speech or some other sign. I did try to hurry but I guess I wasn’t fast enough.

I managed to get out a whimpered, “Eric.” before I heard a shuffle and I was falling.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a completely AU tale of divergent and going to be taking a deeper look into the world and factions. Choosing Age is eighteen. Inspiration for OC's will be listed if new one is introduced but otherwise all characters are based off the movie casting.
> 
> Avery King - Alexandra Daddario  
> Alec King - Clive Owen  
> Scott - Aidan Turner  
> Shauna - Jenna Coleman


End file.
